How to deal with online bullying and your child
Here's how you can help support your child if they are experiencing online bullying.
Bullying online happens most frequently via social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok and others.
Online bullying can include:
- Posting photos of someone without their permission.
- Sending mean messages via a messaging app or email.
- Leaving someone out of group chats or using group chats to harass someone.
- Posting from someone else's social media profile without consent or creating fake pages.
- Leaving mean comments on someone's social media accounts.
Online bullying can come from within a teenager's social group or school. It can start with one person, or a group of people harassing one target together. It can also be initiated by complete strangers, often called "trolling". Whether it is an isolated online incident or something that is happening over months across several social platforms, bullying can very distressing for any young person.
If a parent isn't active on social media or online, it can make bullying in these spaces seem more daunting to speak about. However, there are some really practical ways that can help you to protect your teenager, make them feel better and help you both deal with online bullying.
What are some signs that your teenager is facing online bullying?
Being bullied online can be particularly upsetting because it can take place anytime. The stress of this can take a real toll on your child's wellbeing. Everyone will deal with their situation differently, but here are a few things to look out for that may be a sign your child is being bullied online such as:
- Becoming more withdrawn; opting out of seeing friends and family.
- Appearing nervous or upset after reading texts or using the computer.
- Difficulty sleeping, headaches or stomach aches.
- Wanting to avoid school or other activities they used to enjoy.
What can your teenager do right now?
If you become aware that your child has been affected by hurtful comments, images or conversations from a bully online, there are simple things you can suggest to your teenager such as:
- Don't respond to online bullying.
- Keep evidence of bullying behaviour, via print-outs or screenshots.
- Delete the offensive posts or messages once they've been documented.
- Untag or flag any photos for removal that are distressing.
- Unfriend or block the person that is posting hurtful comments.
- Change privacy settings on their social media accounts and change any passwords that have been shared with others.
What can parents do to help?
The first thing to do if you are concerned that your teen is being bullied online is to open up a conversation, listen and be supportive. Cyberbullying is something to be taken seriously. Remember to:
- Talk to your child about what has been happening and try to get a clear picture of what has been happening and for how long it's been going on.
- Teach them how important it is to stay calm when dealing with online bullying. Don't respond to bullying with aggression. Encourage them to call out the bullying behaviour in a calm manner. For example, 'Please stop sending these messages - this is bullying'.
- Go through the initial steps above to try to put a stop to the abuse.
- If the cyberbullying continues or intensifies, it's time to enlist some external help.
If the online bully goes to their school
If your child knows who is bullying them from school, it's important to involve their school in the issue. Most schools have an online bullying policy, often found on the school's website, that you can read to get a sense of how they will respond to the issue.
When contacting the school:
- Involve your child in any decision or action.
- Have as much information as you can about the bullying, for example how long it's been happening and what's been happening?
- Make an appointment to see your child's teacher or an administrator at the school.
- Make a plan with the school on how to stop the bullying.
- Keep in regular contact with the school after the initial meeting to monitor the situation.
- If you're unhappy with the school's response, try to meet again with the school, and failing that, contact the local education authority.
Social media and mobile phone providers
Social media and mobile phone providers can be a resource to call on in the case of cyberbullying. Mobile phone providers can assist with tracking in the case of abusive texts or calls and you are also able to report cyberbullying content to social media platforms.
The Office of the Children's eSafety Commissioner can also help with online bullying by getting offensive material removed from sites on your behalf. This is done by completing a complaint form on their website.
A complaint can be made to the eSafety Commissioner by any young person aged less than 18 years, and any adult who is a parent or guardian to a young person who is being bullied online. Complaints can be made via an online form on the eSafety Commissioner website.
Before making a complaint
Before a complaint, contact the social media provider and report the abuse, keep proof that you have done this and keep a note of the date that the report was filed.
Also, gather as much evidence as you can such as screenshots, videos links and keep the message.
Making a complaint to the eSafety Commissioner is the best way to go if you have reported abuse to your social media provider and the offensive material hasn?t been removed within 48 hours.
Contacting the police
The police should be contacted in the case where online bullying takes the form of intimidation and direct threats. They can help to track down the perpetrator in the case that the bullying online is anonymous.
Peer and professional support
Dealing with cyberbullying and social media harassment is an incredibly difficult thing to cope with for both children and parents. Alongside all of the strategies above, make time to reach out for support from family and friends, both for you and your child.
Don't be afraid to access professional support like a counsellor or youth worker, particularly if the cyberbullying is ongoing or is having an impact on your child's wellbeing. You can also encourage your teen to participate in safe online peer-support through the ReachOut Forums for youth. It is a reputable, evidence-based and professionally moderated online information and support service.
Useful websites include:
- Department of Education: Anti-bullying
- Office of the eSafety Commissioner
- Bullying. No Way!
- Kids Helpline